Well, yes it's been a while. I haven't really been doing a whole lot with the net lately because i've been so damn busy irl.. Some of the things that have been going on:

-Instead of spending Christmas alone and sad, i got to be with my 2 favorite Queers.

-My Cousin, Cootie, came for Christmas, and got to stay untill after New Years, and once, while we were actually alone, this break, we had a real heart to heart and cry-fest, which felt really good afterwards.

-I had 2 couples of my friends over on New Years, which was awesome and fun, but then was horribly depressing at Midnight when they started making out and i realized that once again, i was alone.

-I missed my girlfriend horribly, even though i thought we were still fighting, and she was mad at me.

-I cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned and cleaned.. and magically, cleaned some more.

-I missed my mom horribly, and cried for her, and for myself for being without her.

-I heard from my Sister before Christmas..

-I didn't hear from my Brother... which is good, but makes me extremely sad too..

-I got to spend lots of time with Laura and her boyfriend Pete, who claims me as his sister now, which makes me happy.

-I got drooled on by my wonderful cat.

-I got to see my girlfriend, which had made me extremely happy, and we made out and such...

-I broke up with my girlfriend, and cried...

-I turned 20 (Today) and realized that i hate my life, its going no where and i feel horribly alone, especially because my girlfriend had already considered us broken up, but neglected to mention it to me.

- I got lots of hugs, and realized as well, that i do have friends that love me and support me, and will keep on doing so, and therefore, i feel less alone and desolate.

-I spent my second Christmas and Birthday without my mom, and my family, and i survived.

-I hurt, I loved, I cried, I died a little, but overall, although i am sad, i can actually say that there were some definate points this last year, that i was genuinely happy, even though they were few and far between.

I too want to say thank you, for helping me grow up, and know about life and love...